Hello dear reader! I’m glad you found your way here.
“I want to be creative, while having the freedom to do my own thing.”
That was the answer of 17-year-old Inken when she was asked what she wanted to do after school. A lot has happened since then, but the quote was true then as it is now. I’m still Inken, now 17-years wiser, a creative and sharp intellect continuing a lifelong pursuit of bliss, creativity and freedom.
Maybe you can relate to my aspiration. Maybe you have an entirely different vision that you would like to turn into reality?
Back then, I decided to become a fashion designer after graduating. When I was 20 years old, I had the unique opportunity to take on a small boutique from its original owner, a kind-hearted, older lady. The regular clientele was in their 50s. While this could be the screenplay of a recent coming-of-age Hollywood comedy, it was a personal roller-coaster of learnings, challenges, and growth. There I was, a young, freshly started fashion designer who had to entertain a customer base at least twice her age. It wasn’t always easy, especially at the beginning but I successfully managed the company for six years. The initial skepticism of my clients turned into trust. My customer base grew, and there was no better recognition of my work than the women who brought their friends with them on their next visit.
To compensate for my stressful business routine and – to be frank – because I was unhappy with myself, I threw myself into sports. I educated myself about functional fitness and Olympic weightlifting and, together with a good friend, opened up another store for sportswear. In those six years managing my own businesses, I didn’t just grow professionally, I also learned a lot about the world and people around me. Practicing sport and fitness daily resulted in many “aha moments” and helped me to learn a lot about the human body.
However, spending the days in my store, I somehow felt limited in my creativity. Sure, I could change the decorations or arrangement of my clothes, but that was not was 17-year-old me had wanted.
I needed more. I needed change. I needed growth.
Adventure was missing in my life! I asked myself: Where can I find self-fulfillment? Definitely not in my store, which I opened day-to-day at 9.30 am. Thinking about continuing this routine till the end of my life was distressing, and somehow didn’t seem like the answer to my longings.
During this time, I met a doctor from Zurich, who opened up a new world to me:
Already in my youth, BDSM has captured my imagination. Whenever fetish-oriented clothing found its way into mainstream fashion magazines, I was unable to keep my eyes of it. “Human abysses” – the unusual – has always fascinated me. Thus, it came as no surprise that curiosity got the best of me and I decided to immerse myself into this foreign, unusual world. Slowly, but steadily, I extended my horizon and learned more about sexology and bodywork until I finally started my career as a professional dominatrix.
Oh, you can imagine, this was not an easy decision. How will my family react? What will my friends think?
I gathered all my courage and first confided in my friends. All my worries disappeared within seconds. My friends took it not just surprisingly well, they supported me from the beginning. The collective feedback was: “You know what? I love it. This is so you.” Afterwards I told my family, and again, my aspiration was met with approval and respect. What a relief! Telling my inner circle about my decision to pursue a rather unusual career, was, retrospectively, a key moment in my life. Breaking free from the opinions of others, putting away the chains of prejudices and doing what I wanted, to define my own fortune, it was a truly liberating moment!
You might wonder why the career of a dominatrix had such a huge draw on me? Where did my passion for the unusual come from?
I believe that no human being is ever more authentic than in the moment they give in to their lust. For many of my guests, I’m holding the key to their inner treasure room, filled with fantasies and desires. Truths they haven’t shared with anyone else in their world. Opening that vault holds a purity and beauty that is unparalleled. I can provide my guests the freedom to truly “let go”. I searched for freedom my entire life, so I know the liberation it can bring. I continuously built upon my expertise. The career as professional dominatrix allowed me to be as creative and self-determined as I’ve always wanted to be. I’m still a businesswoman, but I travel the world, while building relationships with strong and interesting characters.
Again, six years have passed. My journey started twelve years ago, in which I built bridges between different disciplines, worked with different personalities, managed challenges (and the occasional bizarre situation) and learned more about myself time and time again.
The most fascinating conclusion of my work, because it is valid and true between all individuals and levels of societies:
Our perception, our happiness, the quality of our relationships, our professional success and even our health, it all depends on our mindset. You have as much value as you are giving yourself, and even the most beautiful, strongest body won’t help you, if your mind is set on the wrong path. In the last twelve years, I experienced lots of difficult situations, I was under a lot of pressure and I couldn’t sleep. You know what, I thought that this is normal: “I cannot react differently to my environment, right?”
This belief system accompanied me for a long, long time until I experienced my final epiphany: Deep emotional disappointment paired with the feeling of failure. I didn’t want to experience these negative emotions anymore. Thus, I started to question my own belief systems. I remembered a quote of Henry Ford, which I saw hanging in a friend’s kitchen:
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.“
This quote guided me and often inspired me to leave my "comfort zone". However, I’ve never thought this was not just about actions, but could also be applied on my thought process. If I stuck to my old belief system, the outcome of my thoughts would never change. Negative emotional spirals would continue, as they have done before. Do I really want that? No, of course not. I mean, who likes to stick with negativity?
The same way I decided on how and what I work, with whom I spend my time with and what I do in my free time, I wanted to decide how I feel. Seems like the truest form of freedom, doesn’t it? Guided by this vision, I continued my quest for learning and learned about meditation, hypnosis and neurolinguistic programming (NLP). Quickly I noticed fundamental changes in me and used those techniques to deep clean and reset my mindset and belief system. I said goodbye to old patterns that were of no use anymore and introduced new ones that served me every day of my life. I improved my relationships and got to know and love my body once again in a new way.
This process was truly rewarding. I believe, every individual should be their strongest ally, then it is us who we spend the most time with.
How would you like to shape your life?
I would love to learn about you and help you open doors that you haven’t yet found.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you.